Milkshake
by Kakawot
Summary: Flying the TARDIS is no easy feat. So don't blame the Doctor if sometimes, occasionally, something goes wrong.


The word had barely echoed around the spaceship before the Doctor frowned at the panel. Rose braced herself on the metal railing, because whenever the Doctor pulled that face in the general direction of the control panel, you could put a glass of milk down and at the end of the ride you'd have a lovely milkshake.

"We're not going very allonsy, are we?" asked Rose tentatively.

"It's allons-y, and no, we're not."

The Doctor darted around the center column and Rose held her breath as he pushed past her once, twice, flipping switches and consulting dials like a fluid dance.

"Maybe it's the- nah, couldn't be, I fixed that," muttered the Doctor. With quick and precise movements he screwed open a floor panel with his sonic screwdriver (not that he actually used the screwdriver-part) and slid his wiry frame underneath it.

"D'you need help?" asked Rose as she leaned forward to get a look at the Doctor. He mumbled something which could've been either a "yes, thank you for noticing Rose, I'll have the laser spanner, top drawer of the third floor, second door to the right" or a "no". It was hard to tell when the he held his screwdriver in his mouth and talked to himself incessantly. And to others as well.

Within minutes he was done with that part of the ship. He slipped free of the bowels of the ship and resumed punching buttons. Well, not actually punching them, though one particular large red round button refused to be pushed and the Doctor forcefully battered it with a hammer, which some might interpret as a 'punch'. Why the Doctor dared to push a large red round button was beyond Rose, because in his career he must have seen lots of threatening large red round buttons, and who knew what they did. Though usually he was first in line to punch them.

The TARDIS was still in motion, though she lurched slowly from side to side, making Rose seasick. It felt like the slowed-down usual movements of the ship.

"Maybe we're stuck in an time-eddy? Making us move this slow?" asked Rose. The Doctor raised his eyebrows at her.

"No, at least, could be, but not around these parts. But I like your thinking. Nah, I think the TARDIS is being stubborn. Come on, old girl, I didn't mean to hit you with a hammer, y'know I love you. Ooh, that could be quite misconstrued in court."

"So nothing's the matter?"

"I hope not. Hold on, we should be… yes…"

The Doctor consulted his swiveling screen and crowed when he read the results in that incomprehensible language of his. He walked towards the door of the TARDIS and counted down. Rose followed him to the doors, curious what he was up to now.

"All fixed up, we should be landing in five… four… three… two… one…"

He opened the door and grinned at Rose. "Rose, welcome to the 24th century, home of the Fed-"

"Doctor," warned Rose. What she saw outside the doors of the TARDIS was familiar and utterly alien at the same time, incomprehensible to the human mind, but she had embraced it and used it.

The swirling not-colors of the time vortex shone towards her and its tendrils crept into the TARDIS, now that the seal had been broken. She felt the pull of the construct, it opened doors she thought were boarded up in her mind and Bad Wolf was all around her, calling her, drawing her closer. She took an involuntary step closer to the doors, her eyes fixated on the gaping maw of endlessness.

She heard the Doctor groan as he struggled to close the door, calling her name, warning her to stop. Another step. The Time Lord used every ounce of power he had and slowly the deceptive piece of wood slid close, shutting the wonders of the time vortex from her mind.

"Phew," breathed the Doctor. He leaned against the door for a few seconds before he frowned his milkshake-inducing-frown again.

"The screen must be calibrated wrong, else I wouldn't have done that. Maybe the Krikkitian thermal regulator is acting up again."

He was ready to launch back into techno-babble, but one look from Rose stopped him in his tracks.

"Rose?" he asked, but she found it hard to find the energy to answer him. She stared at the door, the fleeting energies of the time vortex wrapped around her mind. The Doctor waved a hand in front of her face, and slowly she tore her gaze from the doors and up to him.

"Did it hurt you?" he asked gently, and Rose somehow found the energy to shake her head. Or maybe it was the rumble of the ship which made her shake, lolling from side to side.

"I'll be fine," she croaked, but Bad Wolf was hard to shake from her mind, now that she had once again seen the entity she had once controlled and been part of, slave and master at the same time.

The Doctor gave her a long, hard look, but then broke into a grin. "Goodie," he said, and whisked off to tinker with the center console again. The mental images of the time vortex drifted off and Rose wasn't sure she'd even remember it in five minutes. The human mind was not meant to see that, but apparently the Doctor was more used to it than her.

"You found the cause yet?" asked Rose as the continuing bang of a hammer drove away the last vortex-induced thoughts.

"No, but maybe it's the casing of the Halbian modchip throwing the timing system for a loop. Which is why I opened the door too soon, but if I reroute the Albikz flow and do this-"

The Doctor twisted something at the console and the ship lurched to the left, throwing Rose into the metal railing.

"This should do it," said the Doctor. Once again he darted towards the doors, but this time he didn't throw them wide open. Rose averted her eyes, but nevertheless she heard the door open. A tiny trickle of vortex not-light seeped into the TARDIS before the Doctor shut the door again.

"This is a challenge. Come on, girl, what's the matter with you? What-"

The Doctor fell silent at once, which called up three kinds of red alerts in Rose's brain. Had the time vortex grabbed hold of the Doctor, forever munching him in its eternal maw? Had he decided to suffer a massive double coronary failure and regenerate?

"Oh," said the Doctor.

At least he was still on board and still alive, which was good in Rose's books.

"Well," said the Doctor.

He stalked up to the center console and pulled a single lever down. Immediately a faint screeching sound Rose hadn't even been aware of until now disappeared and the motions of the TARDIS once again felt normal to her.

"Doctor, what was that?" she asked, but the Doctor didn't answer and refused to look at her.

"It's the lever for accelerating the velocity and relative time-induced speed of the TARDIS," he said.

The Doctor often managed to dazzle others with science, scientific talk, or complete bull. It sort of was his specialty. Maybe he even had gotten his doctorate in 'talking his way out of a bad situation using as much five-syllable-words as possible'. But he could no longer fool Rose (at least, not all the time).

"So, what you're saying is," said Rose, "you forgot the handbrake."

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed, and since English isn't my first language: please tell me if you came across anything weird. Thanks!


End file.
